Is It SO Hard Being Honest to Yourself?

Written by ebazaar on June 15, 2011 ⋅

Sponsored links

I know, this blog may be on quite a long hiatus, but the team’s back and I am back too! And there were like plenty of comments and feedbacks which some I have still yet to go through and some I may have already approved…and as usual, some even wrote in asking for help.

Again, it’s on the issue of dating best friend’s ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Here’s one I could share - from anonymous:-

Hi guys, i need your help.
My best friend went out with this guy who i had no idea who he was. They went out for around 3 months and then he ended it with her. Its been around 6 months since they broke up, and my best friend still really likes him.So the other week, i met up with a few friends and he happened to be there, we spoke, laughed, and had a drink.

I thought nothing of it, i just thought he was a really nice guy. After that night, he had been texting me. He has been so nice and is always complimenting me. He would say things like ‘Im thinking about you all the time’ or ‘your so beautiful, why had i never met you before?’ and he kept telling me he wanted to see me. So i began to like him, just a tiny bit.. but i remembered my friend and knew i had to try my best to forget about it and not like him, for her.
I met up with some friends again and he came along too.. We got on really well and i really liked him. He told me he liked me a lot too, and he wanted to take things further with me, not sex or anything but relationship wise.. I tried so hard to stop myself from liking him, my friend always went on about how much she liked him, and i didn’t know what to do.

I knew i had to speak to my friend, so i did.. i told her how i liked him yet i tried so hard not to, and i don’t want it to affect our friendship at all. She said “i don’t know what to say, ok” and that was it.. I can tell she’s upset, and he asked to see me on the weekend, i know he will ask me out but i don’t know what to say, i can tell she’s upset but she’s not giving me answers!
Also, i feel so bad for the guy, as he liked one of her other friends, but she had a go at her friend for flirting with him and she told her friend that their not allowed to be with each other. I can’t imagine not being allowed to go for who you like, its not fair. She doesn’t control him and i want her to know that but i don’t want to ruin our friendship. What do i say to her, and should i go for the guy? HELP!

=============================

Now, this is a little bit complicated than I thought it will be. I know, many things are easier said than done, but just believe that things can be a lot more easier if can all be honest to other and most importantly ourselves, and be very forgiving and not resentful if things doesn’t work out the way we want it to be.
Remember, all things happens for a reason and it’s always that it happens for the better - to remind us, to teach us more about life, trusting, being honest and such.
To me, you’ve done all things you could, like talking it out to your dear friend and if she’s reasonable enough, she will understand and appreciate your effort. And perhaps you can talk it out to that guy too. He have to understand your situation too and perhaps be wise in determining where certain things leads onto. Just make he doesn’t use you just because he couldn’t be with the other girl he liked, and the fact that he couldn’t like your friend enough. Just be sure to know where you want to stand and be firm about it.
Good luck, really hope this’ll help.